Humans have always been interested in identifying and exposing hypocrisy. Many collections of quotations have been written, and many of the entries are clever treatments of human hypocrisy. The term “human hypocrisy” is redundant, for only humans are hypocritical. Indeed, one theory for the evolution of language suggests that the capacity for speech was driven by the payoffs for misleading others. Since hypocrisy is unique to humans, and since it appears to be a “human universal” (found in all cultures), I have coined the term “Homo Hypocritus” as a mocking reference to our species. Misanthropes are people who are profoundly disappointed in the shortcomings of human nature. We are unwilling to surrender hope for the day when humans will remake themselves to be worthy of the lofty opinion they have always had for themselves. Since misanthropes wish for human improvement, it is natural for them to be keen on identifying things needing improvement. Many of the quotations within these pages are material for some future project at converting Homo hypocritus to Homo sapiens. This book consists of two parts. The first 80% is a collection of quotes from the literature that capture the essential hypocritical core of human nature, and the remainder of the book consists of the author’s attempts at pithy one-liners. Most of the quotations in this book are “politically correct” – which is to say that some are not. The author does not wish to offend, and is confident that almost anyone will enjoy this collection of quotes.