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Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life

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Christians often focus so much on being loving and giving that they forget their own limits and limitations. Have you ever found yourself wondering:

• Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
• How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
• Why do I feel guilty when I consider setting boundaries?

In this Gold Medallion Award–winning book, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend give you biblically based answers to these and other tough questions, and show you how to set healthy boundaries with your parents, spouses, children, friends, coworkers, and even yourself.

Boundaries are personal property lines that define who you are and who you are not, and influence all areas of your life.

Physical boundaries help you determine who may touch you and under what circumstances.

Mental boundaries give you the freedom to have your own thoughts and opinions.

Emotional boundaries help you deal with your own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others.

Spiritual boundaries help you distinguish God’s will from your own and give you renewed awe for your Creator.

Unpacking ten “laws of boundaries,” Drs. Cloud and Townsend show you how to bring new health to your relationships. You’ll discover firsthand how sound boundaries give you the freedom to walk as the loving, giving, fulfilled individual God created you to be.

In order to call themselves good Christians, many people have drawn overly flexible boundaries (unwilling to say no, always accommodating others’ needs) or overly rigid boundaries (to the point of being righteous and judgmental). Psychologists and inspirational speakers Cloud and Townsend show readers how to set reasonable boundaries in order to follow the true path of Christianity. This book has become immensely popular, most likely because it makes personal boundaries easier to define and is filled with spiritual purpose. Some cautions: the format can be overly self-helpish for such a complex discussion and the authors at one point imply that judicious spankings may be an acceptable form of setting boundaries with children. However, many Christians will probably find themselves grateful for this biblical context of boundaries. –Gail Hudson

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3 thoughts on “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life

  1. Excellent Self-Help Guide for men & women of all ages I found Boundaries to be extremely helpful to me and my family. The authors point to Biblical references for boundary development & enforcement. The authors also illustrate real-life examples of people who have boundary issues and give practical advice on how to resolve conflicts in all relationships…parent-child, spouse-spouse, friend-friend, etc. I firmly believe that this book is vital for people who desire to have Godly, healthy relationships. When my children are mature enough…

  2. This Book–> The Pencil That Will Help You Draw the Lines Wow, why didn’t I ever know about this book? You don’t hear much about it- I stumbled upon it browsing around Amazon one day. For people wondering if they should buy this book, get it if:-you’re not turned off by a Christian writing approach-you feel like there’s a problem because you’re trying to be a good person all the time by always saying “yes”In a nutshell, this book is for people who don’t know how to set boundaries for themselves. In other words, they’re…

  3. Turning my life around As a Christian, I continually struggled with feeling depressed from being a doormat, and being nice because it was “part of the abundant Christian life.” Everyone spoke about Christianity as being a joyful, full life that I would love and never want to return to the secular world. Then why did I feel so miserable? Why did the secular world seem so appealing, where I could be as nasty and selfish as I wanted to?The answer was in “Boundaries”. As I read the book,…

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