Some people spend their lives reacting to what life hands them, while others craft life to fit their goals. Author Phillip C. McGraw, who is a psychologist but describes himself as a strategist, is determined to make sure that his readers are the creators of their lives, not created by their lives. By accepting that you are personally accountable for every element of your life, McGraw says, you can erase the negative “epidemic behaviors” (found in all of American society: denial, false assumptions, inertia, deceptive masking) in your life and reach your goals.Written in a tough-love, sometimes cantankerous tone, this self-help book is not for those looking to explore their inner child or visualize away negative energy. No, this is pull-yourself-up-by-the- bootstraps advice from someone who’s done just that. McGraw opens with a scene describing how he helped Oprah Winfrey survive–and win–the 1998 “Mad Cow” lawsuit in Texas, when she was having difficulty coping with the reality of what was happening to her. He helped her face the facts about the lawsuit, after which she was better able to participate in crafting a strategy to win it.McGraw first forces you to take a good hard look at who you are by dissecting your personality. It may be painful to realize that you fall into the “Porcupine” or “Perfecto” or any of the other personality types McGraw delineates, but here it’s true that there’s no gain without pain, because (Life Law No. 4) “You Can’t Change What You Don’t Acknowledge.” He then describes in depth all 10 “Life Laws”–the rules by which the world plays–that he learned the hard way. Laws such as “You Either Get It, or You Don’t,” “Life Is Managed; It Is Not Cured,” and “You Have to Name It to Claim It” make up the bulk of the book and McGraw’s realist philosophy.If you learn and abide by the Life Laws and go on to create a Life Strategy, McGraw claims you will not only know yourself better and eliminate negative behaviors, you will also know how to reach any goal you set for yourself. –Stefanie DurbinAuthor and reader Phillip McGraw is at the forefront of a group of self-help gurus rethinking Americans’ decade-plus-long celebration of victimhood. Calling himself a realist, he outlines 10 ways to take responsibility for and change your life. His reading mirrors the style of the weekend motivational seminars he conducts, designed to spark the listener into action. The lively pace crackles with such gems as, “My dad had taught me there are times in life where you just don’t want to miss a good chance to shut up.” While tape 1’s side A bogs down during an account of Oprah Winfrey’s beef-industry battles, side B dives quickly into the meat of the audiobook, featuring anecdotes from McGraw’s own life and the 10 “Life Laws”–the rules by which McGraw believes the world plays. (Running time: 5 hours, 4 cassettes) –Kimberly Heinrichs
Great Book, aside from Dr. McGraw’s tough style This book is great; I recommended it to all the friends whom I thought needed it. I agree fully with all the life laws, they are the basics of human improvement. I do, however, think that Dr. McGraw’s style is a little too intimidating and I did lend the book to someone who got either depressed or frightened on numerous occasions throughout the book. If you are strong and willing to change your life to a more effective, more productive one, read this book.
If you don’t mind the direct approach this book is for you! In my review of Cheryl Richardson’s ‘Life Makeovers’ I pointed out that an author’s approach and style are what distinguish his or her work from the amazing number of self-help books available.I would call this book ‘a blunter ‘Life Makeovers”.For those who are unfamiliar with Dr. Phil’s approach (he has appeared on talk shows, especially ‘Oprah!’) you will at first probably be turned off as I was. A ‘client’ will go on stage with him and start explaining the problem he or she has. He frequently interrupts and bluntly gets right to the most important underlying question.The interesting thing is that this is the approach used by the best psychologists/psychiatrists. When you distill the problems you have down to the basic issue it becomes much easier to face and solve.This book, by putting you in Dr. Phil’s ‘office’, exposes you to this type of ‘therapy’.Is it a substitute for professional help if needed? No…
YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR DESTINY Each of us has the power to make those decisions which ultimately determine the course of our precious lives.