If ever there was a time of year in which we need a sense of humor, it’s the holidays in America—and the latest little book in this best-selling series is here to help! Brimming with America’s funniest stories, one-liners, cartoons, quotes, and jokes, this side-splitting collection explodes the myth that the holidays are the picture of clean homes, well-behaved children, meticulously wrapped gifts, absolutely perfect food, distinguished guests, and perpetual, shiny white smiles. Here is just a sampling of the holiday havoc we all recognize—and love:
“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.” —Erma Bombeck
Last Christmas morning, after all the presents were opened,
it was clear that my five-year-old son wasn’t thrilled with the ratio
of toys to clothes he’d received. As he trudged slowly up the stairs,
I called out, “Hey, where are you going?”
“To my room,” he said, “to play with my new socks.”
“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” —Joan Rivers