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Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly

A deliciously funny, delectably shocking banquet of wild-but-true tales of life in the culinary trade from Chef Anthony Bourdain, laying out his more than a quarter-century of drugs, sex, and haute cuisine—now with all-new, never-before-published material.

Most diners believe that their sublime sliver of seared foie gras, topped with an ethereal buckwheat blini and a drizzle of piquant huckleberry sauce, was created by a culinary artist of the highest order, a sensitive, highly refined executive chef. The truth is more brutal. More likely, writes Anthony Bourdain in Kitchen Confidential, that elegant three-star concoction is the collaborative effort of a team of “wacked-out moral degenerates, dope fiends, refugees, a thuggish assortment of drunks, sneak thieves, sluts, and psychopaths,” in all likelihood pierced or tattooed and incapable of uttering a sentence without an expletive or a foreign phrase. Such is the muscular view of the culinary trenches from one who’s been groveling in them, with obvious sadomasochistic pleasure, for more than 20 years. CIA-trained Bourdain, currently the executive chef of the celebrated Les Halles, wrote two culinary mysteries before his first (and infamous) New Yorker essay launched this frank confessional about the lusty and larcenous real lives of cooks and restaurateurs. He is obscenely eloquent, unapologetically opinionated, and a damn fine storyteller–a Jack Kerouac of the kitchen. Those without the stomach for this kind of joyride should note his opening caveat: “There will be horror stories. Heavy drinking, drugs, screwing in the dry-goods area, unappetizing industry-wide practices. Talking about why you probably shouldn’t order fish on a Monday, why those who favor well-done get the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel, and why seafood frittata is not a wise brunch selection…. But I’m simply not going to deceive anybody about the life as I’ve seen it.” –Sumi Hahn

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The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

“Being paid to perform such a gratifying activity as reading Mark Twain aloud felt powerfully akin to Tom Sawyer hoodwinking other boys into paying him for the privilege of whitewashing a fence. Let’s keep that between us.” (Narrator Nick Offerman)

With The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, not even Twain could have known that when he introduced readers to the inhabitants of the fictional town of St. Petersburg, Missouri, he would also be introducing two characters – one a clever and mischievous scamp, and the other a carefree, innocent ragamuffin – whose stories would ultimately shape the course of American literature. But whereas its sequel and companion piece, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, would harken an end to childhood, the story of Tom Sawyer is one that depicts the excitement and adventure of boyhood along the Mississippi.

Revisit this enduring classic and you will be struck not only by Twain’s skill at capturing a time and place so vividly but also by his uncanny ability to crystallize those oftentimes tumultuous and conflicting emotions that a child experiences at the precipice of adulthood: a longing to be free from the rules and obligations of adults while enjoying the laxity inherent in childhood; a love of all things macabre, like blood oaths, cemetery cures, and haunted houses, that reveal a true innocence – an unawareness of real-life consequences and one’s own mortality; and the pangs of guilt when knowing the right thing to do and doing the right thing appear to be at odds.

A natural storyteller and raconteur in his own right – just listen to Paddle Your Own Canoe and Gumption – actor, comedian, carpenter, and all-around manly man Nick Offerman (Parks and Recreation) brings his distinctive baritone and a fine-tuned comic versatility to Twain’s writing. In a knockout performance, he doesn’t so much as read Twain’s words as he does rejoice in them, delighting in the hijinks of Tom – whom he lovingly refers to as a “great scam artist” and “true American hero” – while deftly delivering the tenderness and care Twain gave to his own characters.

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Up in the Air: 6 Stories on True Friendship and Reconciliation (Adventures in Odyssey)

Things are definitely up in the air in Odyssey! First, Wooton Bassett returns from his honeymoon with two problems―Penny is missing and he’s lost his memory! While Whit, Connie, and Jason try to help Wooton find Penny, Buck Oliver rescues Jules from a crash course of disaster. And a mystery is solved only after Emily and Matthew’s friendship is threatened. You’ll learn the meaning of true friendship and integrity in six episodes of heart-changing, risk-taking adventure!

Adventures in Odyssey has provided high quality, character-building entertainment through audio drama for nearly thirty years. With over two hours of entertainment, these episodes find the folks of Odyssey learning about relationships, friendship, and compassion.

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The Strange Visitation at Wolffe Hall (Grayson Sherbrooke’s Otherworldly Adventures)

The year is 1841 and Grayson Sherbrooke, a popular author of gothic paranormal mysteries, lives on the coast of Northern England with his 4-year-old-son, Pip. He’s asked by a neighboring little girl, P.C., to come to Wolffe Hall because something terrible is threatening her and her mother. She’s come to Grayson because she’s confused him with his fictional hero, Thomas Straithmore, who overcomes all obstacles and always triumphs over otherworldly evil. Thus, to her mind, Thomas is the only one to save them. She describes the house shaking with terrifying tremors and a huge black hole she calls the Abyss appearing in the entrance hall. She also knows the menace involves her great grandfather, known as The Great. He’s obsessed with collecting and returning the famous Waterloo medals to the soldiers of the great battle of 1815, but he refuses to tell anyone why he’s doing it. Grayson is soon embroiled in a mystery involving a wrongful death on the battlefield at Waterloo and a paranormal force that threatens the very lives of those living in Wolffe Hall.

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Beginnings: Adventures on Terra, Book 1

Armon Ellington is 19 year old kid that always felt out of place. He’s an orphan, a gamer, and a role playing game geek. When he dies after a 72 hour gaming marathon, instead of going to an afterlife he’s transported to a new world governed by rules that are eerily similar to the RPG games he loves. On this new world, Terra, he can be anything he wants, a warrior, mage, or even a crafter. Only, Armon wants more than that, he also wants friends and family.

Join Armon on his journey through this amazing new world where he’ll go on adventures, explore dungeons, slay monsters and hopefully find the friends and family he never had on Earth.

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Let’s Put On a Show! (Adventures in Odyssey)

Adventures in Odyssey has provided high-quality, character-building entertainment through audio drama for nearly thirty years. Your entire family will love the next installment as the town of Odyssey gets ready to put on a show! With over two hours of entertainment, these episodes find the folks of Odyssey learning about relationships, friendship, and compassion. Jules Kendall feels like she’s in the spotlight and has to live up to everyone’s expectations. Buck Oliver pretends to understand Eugene and Katrina’s faith. A mysterious visitor to the antique shop isn’t all he seems as he searches for a clue to a father’s final words. And a group of traveling singers put on the rootin-est, tootin-est, Wild Westiest musical extravaganza Odyssey has ever seen! Sit back and enjoy the show!

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To the Left of Inspiration: Adventures in Living with Disabilities

When is the last time you’ve read an honest, funny book about living with disabilities? To the Left of Inspiration: Adventures in Living with Disabilities is just such a book. Fifty-four million Americans have chronic illnesses or disabilities requiring them to make accommodations in the ways they live their lives. You may have students, customers, and clients with disabilities and want to interact with them knowledgeably and sensitively. Or perhaps you are adjusting to a new illness or disability and have accepted that it’s a whole new world you are entering. You’ll learn from a woman blind from birth about activities of daily life, like talking to children about disabilities, traveling, going to church, and working. Kathie’s life experiences highlight the warmth and humor in everyone’s struggles to be humane with each other, whether we are temporarily able-bodied or disabled. Disabilities can be more than adjusted to; they can be mined for pearls and Kathie shares some of hers with you. Kathie is a guide, familiar with the territory, who will walk beside you as you negotiate your new world. You won’t learn how to overcome your disability, but you will laugh in recognition and hope as you read To the Left of Inspiration. Come along with Kathie and her Seeing EyeT dog on their adventures; your life will be enriched. Katherine Schneider has been blind since her premature birth in 1949 and has had fibromyalgia for over ten years. She was the first blind student to graduate from the Kalamazoo, Michigan public school system in 1967 and was a valedictorian as well as a National Merit scholar. Three years later she graduated with honors from Michigan State University with a BS in psychology. After receiving her PhD in clinical psychology from Purdue University, she has worked at four universities: three of them public and one private. She has taught psychology courses from freshman psychology to the graduate level and has counseled, supervised, and administered university counseling services. Kathie has presented papers at national professional meetings and authored articles and book chapters on such topics as counseling people with disabilities and religion and visual impairment. She has won awards for her professional work from the Courage Center, the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, and the University of Wisconsin System Regents, among others. Katherine has recently retired and is enjoying serving on seven state and local boards (at least she’s never bored), reading novels, and trying to live the Red Hat® philosophy. She is proud to have been a Seeing EyeT dog user for the past thirty years.

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The New Adventures of Ellery Queen (Ellery Queen Mysteries) (Ellery Queen Mysteries (Audio))

[Read by Robert Fass]

The New Adventures of Ellery Queen is a classic collection of eight short mysteries and a remarkable short novel.

Stories include: The Lamp of God, The Treasure Hunt, The Hollow Dragon, The House of Darkness, The Bleeding Portrait, Man Bites Dog, Long Shot, Mind Over Matter, and The Trojan Horse.

Trick I — The first thing to vanish is a worthless doorstop. Then, in the twinkling of an eye, goes its rich and elderly owner. And, for the grand finale, both reappear — each as dead as the other.

Trick II — From the House of Darkness issues more bafflement. In total darkness and from a distance of twelve feet, four bullets are pumped within an inch of each other into a spectator’s back — a feat utterly impossible to perform yet brazenly and undeniably done.

Trick III — The pièce de résistance. This time it’s an entire house, a real house, a solid house, which Ellery Queen had been in only the day before . . . vanished from the face of the earth. And in its place emerges one of the most incredible conundrums ever to face the master crime solver.

Encores — The New Adventures of Ellery Queen is a classic collection of eight short mysteries and a remarkable short novel. First published in 1940, it has sold more than one million copies and continues to be ”as good as they come” (New York Times).

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Knight Kyle and the Magic Silver Lance: Adventures Beyond Dragon

Welcome to Knight Kyle’s world!

Beyond the great forest and towering Dragon Mountain lies Fairyland, a land of elves and trolls, dragons and giants, magicians and fairies. And in one corner, Fairyland East, lives Knight Kyle.

Kyle’s great-grandfather once possessed a silver lance that, according to legend, gave its owner invincible power. The lance is now missing, and Kyle is always looking for it, but so are his worst enemies: the robber Rasputin and the evil magician Balduin.

Luckily, Kyle has the help of his friends, including Lady Constance (who is as brave as a dragon), Dragobert (who really is a dragon), Elf Aurin (whose harp playing, unfortunately, puts Kyle to sleep), and Prince Nepomuk (who protects his friends and his wardrobe at all times).

Almost every day they find themselves in a new amazing adventure….